This semester, Student Leaders kicked off the year at the annual Student Leader Retreat by focusing on our third Pillar, His Ways. Together, we were challenged to consider how God created us uniquely to serve the people around us. One morning during the retreat, we got up at dawn and watched the sunrise over a beautiful lake while abiding together in God’s creation.
As I sat at the edge of the lake, visions of how Jesus might choose to use me this year swirled in my mind. If I’m being honest, most of the images were of successful, mountaintop victories where those around me would see God’s hand on campus (through me, of course). I wanted to be used by Him, and I prayed- “Lord have your way- use me however you want”.
Now, looking back on my semester, I can’t help but think about all the ways I failed to measure up to this prayer. Some memories are painful reminders of my weaknesses, while I notice that other moments of success bring a rush of self-satisfaction. It causes me to wonder if I am truly content to be used however the Lord sees fit. Below the surface, I realize I secretly have my own ways planned. Unless the Lord uses me according to those plans I somehow feel let down by God.
When we reach markers like the end of a semester, the end of a year, or the end of a season, as followers of Jesus we must determine whose ways we have been following. We can see what is secretly in our hearts by looking at the things we believe make us successes or failures.
In his book A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, Euguene Peterson describes the posture of a servant being always pointed up looking towards his master. The best servants are those who, through attentive focus, can anticipate their master’s desires without having to be asked. In other words, the best servants measure their success not by how they feel about something they did, but by if they did what their master required of them.
What this challenges us to accept is that the outcome of our obedience is not as important as the obedience itself. In fact, the joy that Jesus talks about in the life of a believer (John 15:10-11) comes not from the outcome of obedience but from knowing Jesus better because of obedience. Following and obeying the ways of Jesus always results in a deeper knowledge of Jesus’ ways and brings us to treasure Jesus more.
As I move into this new year and semester, I feel myself asking these questions. And perhaps these are questions for all of us. Would we learn to measure our past differently and take joy in obeying Jesus? Would we abandon our own ways of seeing things and become servants of Jesus? Would we follow and obey?
By Sophie Benco, Assistant Director of Spiritual Formations
